Dear Reader,
Well here I am, 43. How the fuck did that happen? It feels like 2 minutes ago I was 21, dressed as a goth and heart deep in all the chaotic deliciousness of my first heart break. Now…
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Finding a new system
Howdy,
So I never actually finished my degree. It's been on my mind lately. No, I don't want to go back and finish it. To be honest I never even wanted to go on it in the first place. I…
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Passionately average.
Howdy,
Today I want to talk about the stupendous length of time I spent trying to feel special. ( side note : I totally catch myself doing this still and yes, maybe this blog is a prt of that too…
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It's O.K to grieve the person you never became
Welcome,
It's O.K to grieve for the person you never became. It's O.K to sit inside of a life that you never planned to have.
I am not going to write another damn blog that's going to “inspire” you to…
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It's not too late, let yourself want it.
Welcome back,
I didn't realise I was ageist... until I aged. When we talk about ageism we often limit the conversation to how we view others but how much have you internalised that ageism and how might you be in…
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Anxiety attack at the gym
Howdy,
For no reason, a few days ago I started to get an anxiety attack at the gym. I could feel it rise like prickly heat up my body as the usual swell of muddy and chaotic thoughts created an…
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Q1 review and writing more.
And here we are,
I've been blogging since before myspace ( kids you'll have to research that one ) which I think means in some way shape or form I've been doing this since it was even a thing on…
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Evidence to the contrary : Trusting yourself
Howdy,
Trust is kind of a tricky subject for anyone that engages with any kind of mental health difference. I was always taught to trust and follow my feelings, to honour them, to let them be at their very best…
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Making peace with your pieces
Howdy,
The background noise of my brain starts to elevate and it feels like a warm wall of mud flows over me. My skin literally starts to itch and I feel my breathing quicken. Sweat pours down my back which…
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6 questions over morning coffee.
Howdy,
The alarm goes off and I begrudingly pull myself out of bed. Mechanically I get dressed and then I walk around my local park with the dog. I think that whole idea of “springboarding” out of bed and “attacking”…
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Creativity is essential
Howdy,
Well here are in February already and if you're anything like me you're wondering what happened to the last month of your life! January's are like that which is why I never really start my year properly until February…
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Men are lonely.
Howdy,
With one of my main personal goals of the year being to reconnect with current and nourish brand new friendships it has gotten me thinking a lot about loneliness, particularly male loneliness, my loneliness. Now to say I was…
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My Heart attack
Howdy,
In 2019 I had a small heart attack. I remember the feeling, like a balloon had popped inside my chest. I couldn't breathe properly and my hands went cold and numb. I'd had lung collapses decades before but this…
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Well...fuck.
Howdy,
Well here we are at the end of 2022 and like you I have no idea how it crept up on me. I am neck deep in all the lists and plans I have for next year and it…
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Starting a little later in life.
Howdy,
The bare bones of a life in pieces is not for the feint of heart. I've been there a fair bit in my time. I've had no place to live, I've had no money, I've had awful mental health,…
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