Howdy,
In 2019 I had a small heart attack. I remember the feeling, like a balloon had popped inside my chest. I couldn't breathe properly and my hands went cold and numb. I'd had lung collapses decades before but this felt different. I was alone in the house and I wasn't certain what was happening to me so, I dialled 99 on my phone and waited to see if I got shooting pains down my arm incase I needed to hit the third nine and get help. The pains didn't come. At that point in my life I was getting regular panic attacks that were painful and debillitating so I chalked it up to being a severe one of those and actually went to bed. Looking back, that was a stupid mistake. Months and I mean MONTHS later I still couldn't fully catch my breath, I couldn't work out or even walk the dog for very long and I wasn't sleeping properly because I could hear my heart beat in my ears. I did the STUPID thing that us blokes tend to do especially when it comes to our health which is ignore it and hope that it would go away. It didn't go away. Many tests later the doctors told me that I had arrythmia. Not shocking as heart troubles run on both sides of my family. They weren't sure if the heart “episode” started it or if it was there all along. Personally I think I've had it all my life and the stress of that period took it over the edge. It took a while for me to get better but nearly a year on I was almost completely there except for a lingering muscle weakness. Then 2020 hit and well, that was it's own thing.
Last year I knew I needed to start making real steps towards getting my body back in order. I started researching herbs and supplements, diets, I started running, swimming and experimenting with exercises that make me feel strong and good. I settled on lifting weights which was one of the best decisions I could have made. I really wish I had done this earlier. I put on an audio book, get my butt to the gym and by the time I leave I feel physically stronger, mentally clearer and there is a real measurable positive impact on my mental health. I started one day a week, then two, then three and now this year I am aiming to go for 4-5 times a week. I am still in the process of figuring out the right diet for me and I think I'm going to hire a trainer who can help me out in that department. Other than that for the first time in years I feel like I am on the right path with my health. I've had the all clear from the doc's and I also know my own body enough to know that I feel good.
I have many goals for this year and I have spent the last few months practicing them. Mainly though, my primary goal is health. I think we've all had a few tough lessons on it's importance but, because of my ticker I can't afford not to center it any more. I also don't ignore my body when it's sick. When I need to rest, I rest. When I need to eat better I start eating better. I just take the whole thing a bit more seriously. Besides, there are books I want to write, songs I want to sing, paintings I want to paint, adventures I want to have and a partner I want to love for many years yet and taking care of myself is a good step towards helping myself get those things. Of course there are no guarantees, but, I will play the odds and look after this body I wake up inside of.
When it comes to your health please take it seriously. I heard a quote somewhere that “a healthy man has 20 goals but an unhealthy man only has one, to get healthy!”. It's a process and it takes time to reconnect and recommit to your body. It will be an ongoing process that will have peaks and valleys, just don't sit this one out.
Take care of yourself,
Love,
Ryan x