Dear Reader,
I sat there half awake, half asleep and next to me in bed with a vision of death. He nestled in between the pillows calmly with a pointed hat, a veil that covered his face, legs crossed, entirely in black. He wasn’t menacing, dark or oppressive. He was just there, he wanted me to know he was there...and then in the blink of an eye he wasn’t. I sat up and took in the image. Like I said there was no malice in the air, this wasn’t a warning for me. It was a message.
Part of my life has ended and I can’t quite put my finger on which part of it it is yet. That’s the beauty of some changes in life, we only recognise them happening in hindsight. Whilst I’m not all the way there yet I am starting to get a lot of “received thoughts”. I’m starting to feel weirdly more confident in who I am and what I can do. I feel more settled in myself even though I’m not certain where to put my feet next. I also don’t need to know where to put my feet. My life feels like I am being replanted. Right now my roots are mid air, awaiting new soil and all I can do is trust that I am being carried and cared for.
We are in a mercury retrograde so, I know that this is a time of deep cleansing, where the things you no longer need are taken away from you. This is why I wasn’t totally surprised to wake up last week and find my facebook account suspended. No reason. I know it’s an AI bot thing. I only keep my social media to stay in touch with work and business so I know I haven’t said or done anything that could be considered controversial. Still, once my slight panic calmed all I could do was laugh and trust that it will either come back and when it does I’ll have some new inspiration as to how to use it, or, I’ll start again and create something else.
For now, my focus is actually focus itself. Whilst my life is in deep transition I want to stay connected to who I am. For that I need to prioritise the things in my life that feel like home. Connecting with spirit, art, music, exercise. These things keep me feeling the boundaries of my body so for the next few weeks I need to define the time towards them a little more. I want to be more present for the things I want to make. I’m also at the end of a music album and I feel like I want a tasty illustration project to get my teeth in to. As for my business, I like how it’s flowing but I am feeling a call to serve in a deeper way, I’m sure it will be revealed in time. Right now, heal, focus, keep going.
All is good here,
Big love
Ryan James x