Dear Reader,
It always happens. Each time I take a step forward to better my life my nervous system freaks out and I manifest something icky in my body. It’s usually a migraine, fatigue or anxiety. Yesterday it was door number three and anxiety just flooded my nervous system. I was jittery, brain-blurry and I kept getting distracted. Thankfully with my trusty list in hand I was able to get everything I needed to get done and successfully soft launched my spiritual youtube channel. I never sleep well after those days so I knew today would be a struggle so I’m writing this curled up on the sofa with the fan on and some marvel thing in the background.
I learned a long time ago that your nervous system is wired for consistency not change. It used to freak me out when each time I would try to grow in a new direction it felt like something would come and slap me in the face. I took that as a sign that I was going in the wrong direction and I spent way, way too long trying to find ways to work around it. These days it all makes a lot more sense. You step into who you are becoming and you have to sit down who you once were. There’s always this balance between the life you are creating and the life that you are burning down. I am making intentional strides towards growing and deepening my business and that means that the part of me that feels safe playing smaller has to go.
On tiktok I’ve been doing one of those daily challenges to keep me accountable. I think I’m on day 5 today. The challenge is to take 1 small step each day towards something that improves my life. It’s working. If I play my cards right then this time next year I should have a deeper and more connected spiritual business, an actual art business and another album out there that is being actively promoted. I should also have a novel or two out there and more money in my bank. I know these are lofty goals for a year but even if they are not achieved at that point the system to help make them possible will at least be up and running. At least that’s the plan.
For today though it’s a day of gentle planning. Small forward steps and enough coffee to wake the dead. I want to continue with this challenge of small daily steps to improve my life but I am also aware that rest counts as a step. So that’s what I’m doing.
Now I must go pop the kettle on.
Have a nice week,
Big Love
Ryan James x