Dear Reader,
I’m on the floor of my living room after a potchy and run-ie around-ie kind of day where I got a lot of things done-ish but I still have things to do. Sunday is a prep day for the week ahead. I write an insane level of lists, I plan my work outs, I do meal prep, I get my art and music projects in order and of course I do my best to try and relax and spend time with my husband. It’s been so busy here lately that I am making extra sure that I am focussed on the most important things to me like dating my husband, finding time for friends and of course downtime.
I noticed recently that I’ve stopped reading for pleasure. I do listen to audio books a lot so that scratches the itch a little but I still miss actual books. I miss sofas and blankets and candles with hot chocolate and a good book. Im a weird kind of reader though. I take notes, I sketch out scenes in my sketchbooks. I research dialogue and spend time processing. I digest characters and perspectives. I get ideas for novellas and spin offs. I fall completely into the space of story itself. I INHALE a book. Maybe that’s why I havent’ been reading as much. I’ve been making my own, making music, making art. Books take time but, it’s been too long. They’re calling me again and just in time for the winter too!
On the horizon of my life lately I am seeing many small steps forward. My business is moving, my art although sluggish is moving and my album is also taking small steps. I do sometimes get frustrated though with all these small steps. Sometimes I want big chunks of leaps forward. I want to fall away from everything and get immeshed in a project. I want to spend weeks in a room with a canvas or an album. I suppose I long for the freedom I had in youth. These days there are bills to pay and a body to nurture. There is routine and obligations. There is time and other connections beyond art and expression. Every time I want to break free from the routine I always end up learning the value of it. As my week unfolds in the lists at my feet I see when and where I can do what I can do. Little and often.
One things I’ve identified is that I am still losing time to doom scrolling. Because I need my phone for work it’s always “Oh I’ll just check…” and then I blink and an hour as gone. An hour that could have been time painting, drawing, reading or actively resting. I am going to make sure that I am more disciplined with that. I’m not sure how I am going to do it yet but I will try. Maybe that means actually making time to “actively doomscroll”? Who knows, I’ll work on it and get back to you.
Right, time to do more lists and fix some stuff for work tomorrow.
Over and out!
Big Love
Ryan James x